How interesting. There are many things I've done that I'm not proud of. I could weep. I could promise myself a million things and break a million and one promises. I just want to feel my spirit move once more. I want to roll down the windows of my life and put my hand out into the breathing air. I can almost feel the exuberance I had in those days. I miss what you were to me. I miss what you made me believe about this world. Maybe I'll believe it again. Then again, maybe I'll find a way to shatter something good once more.

There are many things that are not my fault. But I'll blame myself anyway. It's more comfortable to go on thinking I'm a destroyer than to believe that sad things just happen. If I'm evil I can be forgiven and I can change. If the world is just sad then that's the way things will always be. Why would I wake up to that world tomorrow?

"While the sinners sin, the children play."

I'm sorry I hurt you. I had to do it. I couldn't handle my own pain.

"We will burn for this. We will both of us burn."

Life has been crazy lately. This past weekend I witnessed the marriages of two very important women in my life. Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Barcleezy and Mr. and Mrs. Landeezy. Both weddings made me think a lot about my life and what the future holds for me. It was beautiful. Anne led me so much throughout my high school life, and I can truly say that the Lord used her instrumentally in making me the man I am today. Courtney has always been a guiding voice and example of what it means to go where you are called to go. Mike's love for her is all-encompassing and is really amazing to watch. I'm excited for both couples.

Getting to hang out with my brothers during all the wedding madness was really awesome. They are some of the funniest people I know, and I feel so blessed to consider my brothers among my best friends. I know many people are not so fortunate, so I thank God for them every chance I get.

Many awesome things are coming up for me as well. There is a strong possibility that I'll be playing guitar for Red Letter Drive in the near future. I'm pretty stoked for that. Their new recording is bomb, and I think with lots of hard work that band could become a force to be reckoned with locally, if not nationally (I'll keep my fingers crossed, for caleb's sake). It's going to be fun to rock out with those dudes and build a name with them. Also, I learned today that I am officially on summer staff at lost canyon from May 22 to June 21. I'm really excited for that. The Lord has always used my time at Lost Canyon to do serious work in my life, and I am certain He will continue that trend this summer. Also, I've heard that as of now the summer staff for that session consists of 4 guys and around 24 girls. Now, I would never go into something like this looking for a relationship, but those sound like good odds for me to meet some really cool girls.

Furthermore, everytime the song "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. comes up on shuffle I let it play. I NEVER skip it. Just thought I'd let you know.

It's much better that we're strangers now.